October is a month of turning and of ritual. The costumes of nature molt and change as green is supplanted by golden browns and subtle reds. Our sun tempers herself and casts her gaze more frequently to other regions. We buy our favorite Snicker bars or Reese's cups for the Halloween visitors. Some of us might think about which role we will play at the planned Halloween party, or consider which hidden part of ourselves we might one day a year freely own and display. October is a month up for grabs.
This Halloween marks the eighth anniversary of my sister, BJ's death. It is also the birthday of my niece's grandmother,(her father's mother) who will turn 92, and my little exuberant friend, Clara Jane Pressey. The poignant sense of endings and beginnings, of birth and death come together for me so completely on this day.
Every year, a week before the anniversay of BJ's death, I begin a letter in which I "catch" her up with my life and the lives of her kids. This morning, for example, I wrote about her son, Charlie, who's doing well in his second year of pharmacy school, his growing maturity and tender heart. I will tell her about her daughter's struggle with her own identity and my ongoing concerns and journey with our mother's Alzheimers. Through this ritual, I feel her presence and love in my life. Although there is saddness, it is also a practice of deep reflection and renewal.
I also look forward to the celebrationof Clara Jane Pressey and her birthday ritual that emphasizes anew the cycle of life.